My Little Man is 5!

Walker at 5 months!

Walker's 1st Birthday!

So Walker turned 5 last week! Every one of his Birthday's have caused me to stop and reflect on the years that I have been blessed with this precious child and stop and smell the roses of being a Mommy! I am having a hard time with 5! My baby is heading off to kindergarten in less than 3 weeks and I am a basketcase! I feel as though it is the end of an era! I no longer have a preschooler and Walker is officially not a baby anymore! He no longer needs me to do so much for him. He dresses himself, gets his own juice boxes, cracks eggs when we cook, closes the door while he goes potty because he needs privacy, picks out his own jammies, plays pretend by himself in his room with the door closed, and tries to wash his own hair! While I am so proud of him for being so independent and needing me for so little I am missing my little baby boy!

I will never forget the first time I held him and I cried and cried. I knew at that moment that the world was sooo much bigger than selfish me and my little life. God has such a plan for my little boy and has given me the privledge to take care of him and help him grow to find his purpose in this life. At the moment I held him I realized that it is no longer about me, but everything I do from here on out is about Walker and being the best Mommy to him that I can be. My emotion over this birthday is filled with some guilt over not always being the best Mommy I can be and over not savoring every moment with my little boy! I pray that the next five years don't go by as fast as the last 5. I am going to slow down and enjoy the precious moments with my son. Right now he is so much fun. I cherish our many games of uno, our math moments in the car, opening his chips for him, listening to him sing the Jonas Brothers and listening to his version of the words, making his cereal, and not burning his blueberry waffles,snuggling with him each morning when he comes to get in my bed, listening to him tell me about Sunday school and how Jesus died on the cross for us, his reminding me to buckle up in the car, and sooo much more that I know will only last for a short while!

Time is going by too fast, but I am proud of my little 5 year old and excited for what school brings in his little life. I heard someone say on the radio recently that they always felt like their mother was pushing them to do things to practice for a life that would start later on, and when he was in his twenties he realized that all the while he was living his life and he felt like he missed it. In a way my life has been a little like that. Everything was in preparation for later on, and I kept waiting for my life to start and I am in my life. My story started a long time ago and I need to wake up and live it now! My Birthday wish for my son is for him to live this life in its fullest! Not to prepare for later but to enjoy his life for what it is! HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY WALKER PATRICK!!! I LOVE YOU!